Tuesday, 13 September 2011

4 months

Benjamin is 4 months old today. This is the story of his birthday.

I started having on and off "pains" about 10 days before, but as they felt totally diffferent to the ones I had with with Noah I totally discounted them! They felt more like stitch than contractions, and also I was having awful twinges in my lower back (stupidly I discounted these also).

Having spent most of the two weeks before he was born up and down to the hospital on a daily basis for CTG, blood tests etc for pre-eclampsia testing I was mightily fed up by the Wednesday. When I went to ante-natal to see the consultant my BP was at an all time high - 136/107! The first thing he said to me was " we will be inducing you, how about the 13th?" Tim freaked out as he is majorly superstitous, but I was thrilled, a) because it meant an end to daily monitoring and blood tests and b) because it is my late Nan's birthday!

Those two days were so slooww. I knew the end was near, but annoyingly my pains stopped. I was dreading the actual induction process and my phobia of needles took over and I imagined 2 days of drips, cannulas etc..Wednesday night I took myself off to Nandos as 12 hours after eating it with Noah I was in labour! Wednesday night came and two hours of regular period pains started. Just as I thought I should start timing they stopped! Thursday during day - nothing and I was resigned to the fact I was going to be induced! Thursday night another 3-4 hours of regular pains that then stopped as soon as I got up!

But after breakfast I had a bloody show, so I was optimistic that maybe things would start itself and I would be spared the process of induction. I asked tim not to go to work, I was due to call hospital at 1030 to see what time to go in, but he said he would go to hospital as soon as things started to get going properly - I was annoyed and so scared that even with my phobia I was going to have to start this whole process - the needles etc by myself - mum couldnt stay with me as she was not my named birth partner. I kept checking if my waters had gone as with Noah this was the first thing to happen - but nothing!

I went into hospital for CTG at 1230, was on monitor for ages as the variability was very, very reduced, I was so upset at the contraction trace as they felt really painful but hardly registered!

The ward then said at 230 I had to go home and call back at 7 as they had no beds, and that there was a chance I may not get in on the Friday!

The drive home was awful - I was crying, the contractions were coming every 8 minutes or so and we got stuck in school run traffic - it was horrendous. From when we got home I started timing my contractions, I was having back contractions as well as in my abdomen and it was awful! Tim got home at 330, trying to deal with Noah (even though my mum was here, Noah only wanted mummy) and deal with the pain was awful. Nothing was helping, whatever position I got into, was awful. I was worried that my consultant had told me that because of my BP I was to go to hospital straight away to be monitored, but Tim was adament he wanted me to wait until 7 to phone! He was pretty much useless to me at this point - he faffed around, not really getting himself ready. By 5pm I couldnt stand the pain any longer and called the hospital. but by this point the contractions had slowed to every 12-13 minutes, although they were getting stronger - I was gutted! The midwife said 12 minutes was too far apart for me to go in, she wanted me to wait until I was every 4 minutes!! I argued my point about the BP at which point she spoke to a dr who told me to come in! Thank God the dr was thinking clearly as by the time I got off the phone the contractions were every 5-6!

The drive to the hospital was excruciating! Rush hour traffic, not being able to find a comfy way to sit and Tim saying "are you having a contraction, does it hurt?" every time I started to scream really did nothing to help my stress.

I was in tears and almost on my knees by the time we got to Triage reception, at which point the slowest receptionist in the world took my notes and took forever to book me in!

I waited about 5 minutes in triage before a midwife took me through to examine me. They were so busy they had to put temporary dividers down the rooms so 2 women could go in a room! I really scared the women next to me as by this point I just really wasnt coping with the pain! After being told on the phone if I wasnt in labour they would send me home, all I wanted was for her to tell me I could stay! Luckily I was 4cm and she said the waters were bulging, she estimated 2 hours until delivery!

They took me down to a delivery room (eventually) so they could give me gas and air! I tried so hard to answer her questions whilst dealing with contractions - the g&a wasnt even touching the pains! I was bent over the bed, and now I look back I'm glad I stayed upright as long as I could! I asked for an epidural, as the consultant had suggested it for my BP, but midwife thought there wasnt enough time, so I had pethedine. Which was rubbish! It didnt make me feel sick but it did nothing for the pain! I was getting so exhausted with each contraction that I didn't even have the energy to breathe the G&A and gave up before the contraction would even finish.

After about 25 minutes I got onto the bed as they had to monitor my blood pressure and put baby on the CTG! I was beside myself, the pains was horrendous - so much worse than with Noah! The contraction graph was out of control, there was barely a minute in between each one, and my bp went up to 140/108! They called the dr in to canulate me, but she couldnt get the canula in as I couldnt sit still, I remember begging her not to canulate me, they were saying I needed a drip and bp meds, but in the end they gave me the meds orally and just took blood!

I remember freaking out at one point as I looked at the CTG and his heartrate was 54!! I was so scared. The midwife told me when I needed to push just to do it, but I wanted her to check me as I was scared I wasnt dilated enough to push! When she checked i was 9.5cm! I was asked to kneel and lean over the back of the bed but I hated this position - I felt so vulnerable and it killed my back. But luckily after 10 minutes it did the job and I was fully dilated.

The urge to push was SO strong, much stronger than with Noah, and I remember thinking I was pushing too hard! I was trying to tell myself not to as I didn't want to tear, but my body was having none of it, it just got on and did it! My waters still hadnt gone at this point, and I was starting to wonder if they ever would!

At 813pm I gave this almighty push and my waters popped - everyone got soaked & I started to cry! For some reason it really upset me, and I asked the midwife to wipe my legs as I didnt like the warm on them!

I pushed for another 10 minutes and I heard the midwife say "oh his head..no wait, he's all out". At 825pm, my gorgeous son Benjamin came out in one go, face up!

2 minutes old

 I learned I had been in so much pain as he had turned back to back and no one had picked it up! The fact he came out all in one go sent me into shock, and my bp went down to ??/47!! The Placenta came out 2 1/2 minutes later. I scored myself a 2nd degree tear and remember begging the midwife not to stitch me. I talked to her for 5 minutes trying to put off the inevitable injections of Lidocaine. Luckily I was still so numb I didnt feel the locals! 
Exhausted new Mummy & Benjamin

We had skin to skin straight away and within half an hour Benjamin initiated his first breastfeed!

Looking back I realise I recovered much quicker than I did with Noah, but the labour was much tougher, far more painful and much, much quicker. My actual active labour was just under 4 hours, he was born 2 hours after arriving in hospital and after pushing for 20 minutes. Not bad for back to back with minimal pain relief!

When I loooked back after Noahs labour I realised I did actually enjoy it in a funny kind of way, but there was nothing about this labour I enjoyed, apart from meeting my beautiful boy:)

The last 4 months have been a chaotic whirlwind, and I cannot believe how fast the time is going. Despite a terrible pregnancy, and excruciating delivery, the last 4 months have been the best 4 months of my life, a challenge, but certainly the best!

4 months old

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